Regaining Confidence

By Alana HuxtableJuly 19, 2019

Self-confidence is the ability to feel assured of yourself (including your abilities, personality, character, and appearance) in a variety of situations. It is the by-product of self-belief and can often exist when a person has a strong sense of place, purpose and importance within social structures such as family, social, business and the community.

You might go through life never consciously thinking that you’re confident, or even questioning what confidence is. However, if you experience any challenges or negative situations, it might cause you to question or doubt yourself thereby leading to lower self-confidence.

No matter which way you look at it, we all inevitably come across problems in life. It is how we interpret and then deal with these problems, which determines how we feel about them and whether we move beyond them. If you are feeling like things in life have caused your self-confidence to slip, there are a variety of things you can do to change this for the better and restore the confidence you once had. If you do nothing and feel like a victim, this isn’t constructive to your well-being, so be sure to respond to this challenge positively and restore your self-confidence. In this blog, I will provide 8 actions that virtually anyone can take to boost their self-confidence. To begin…

1. Eat Really Healthily
By eating healthily and drinking plenty of water, you will develop a feeling of achievement and pride that you are looking after yourself. By maintaining this healthy lifestyle and not indulging in too much alcohol or overeating, you will minimise negative emotions including guilt, which hamper self-confidence. You also appear more attractive and will be physically stronger to handle any stress.

2. Exercise
It can take some time to increase your fitness levels but start with walking just 20 minutes a day. Go out during your lunch break and enjoy a brisk walk, or do it first thing in the morning with your dog. Eventually increase your fitness by joining a gym or buying exercise equipment for your home (a treadmill or bike for example). By having your own ‘gym’, you will have no excuses for not working out daily. Incorporate it as a normal habit or routine like cleaning your teeth. By working out, you will automatically feel better about yourself because you will feel healthy, look great and those endorphins will be pumping around everywhere making you interpret things more positively.

3. Avoid Negative People
If there are negative or toxic people in your life, detach yourself. There is nothing you can do to change people like this. They complain a lot but never seem to do anything to resolve their problems. By seeing people like this regularly, you expose yourself to a powerful negative energy that has the potential to draw you in and pull you down. This can result in a slip of your own self-confidence. Remember, you have a choice about who you see or expose yourself to, and if others in your life are extremely negative, either see them in a limited capacity or avoid them altogether. Look after yourself first and foremost and do what’s right for you.

4. Travel
Travel forces you to step outside of your comfort zone to find your way around and communicate with others, from holiday companions to locals. Whilst you may feel nervous, this pressure inspires courage and enables the establishment of new friendships and connections. By conquering your fear of the unknown, you strengthen your courage, which immediately boosts your confidence. Anything that takes some guts and bravery such as having to interact with strangers, speak publicly, be more outgoing and generate social networks, is the perfect confidence recipe. You are learning key sociability skills & broadening your sense of community which are invaluable tools for everyday life and it makes you feel powerful. Travel is a wonderful thing!

5. Invest in Your Appearance
Times are tough and people are less likely to spend money on themselves in the current economic climate. However, if you neglect yourself by not buying things that make you look and feel good, you are depriving your soul of happiness. If this sounds like you, keep in mind that you are putting yourself last on your list of priorities, which is absurd. Remember, you are your highest priority. You need to always invest in your happiness, health and confidence before anything else. It is good to buy things for yourself. I recommend that when you do, buy with a purpose in mind and don't go crazy. Buy something that will help you in some way. Perhaps it will cause others to show you more respect or help you win an interview or promotion.

6. Be a Giver and Be Grateful for All You Have
Regardless of whatever has happened to you in your life, never lose sight of who you are. Don’t be bitter, don’t be angry, don’t be a victim. These are destructive states and greatly inhibit your ability to get your life back on track and be the person you really are. By instead giving to and helping others including family, friends, the community and business associates, you will find that you will be received positively and will like yourself more because you are not allowing external forces to stop you from being a valuable contributor. Living in this state of contribution (without it being to your own detriment of course) and being grateful for what you have enables you to be the best, happiest and most positive version of yourself.

7. Guard Your Thoughts & Choose Your Words
When difficult things happen in life, instead of thinking or saying “Why me?” and “How could they do this to me?”, take a different approach. These types of questions only ever cause your brain to respond with negativity or unfavourable emotions including sadness and anger. As difficult as it might seem, you are better off asking yourself different questions. Ask yourself “How can I use this to be an even better person?” or “How will this experience make me stronger and how else can I benefit from it?” In this way, you are acknowledging that every problem, challenge or adversity can bring with it some type of benefit, which provides hope and optimism. It is up to you to discover what benefit it will bring to you and to then use it to your advantage. This type of thinking shows strength, which naturally boosts confidence.

8. Don’t Become a ‘Victim’
Adopting a ‘victim’ mentality might bring with it the sympathy of others which makes you feel supported and loved, but it is extremely self-limiting. If you become reliant on this sympathy in order to function, you unknowingly get caught in a self-fulfilling rut that is difficult to climb out of. It should be said that in times of distress, grief or hardship, the sympathy and support of others can be a welcome relief and reminds us that we are not alone. However, if you become reliant on it in a longer term capacity, your very survival (in an emotional sense) lays solely in the hands of other people! Being stuck in this disempowering rut also causes you and your peers to regard you as a victim in a permanent capacity, which is certainly not the case. This isn’t good for your confidence, and by breaking this cycle, you will embark on a more positive and empowering life.

Always remember that self-confidence can be built if you are armed with the right approach and if you are genuinely determined and committed to achieving the goal. By taking these 8 actions alone, you can boost your confidence to incredible heights. Tap your inner power to achieve Unstoppable Confidence.

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© 2022 Alana Huxtable.