5 Ways to Deal with Someone Who Mistreats You

By Alana HuxtableSeptember 13, 2019

In this world full of people, it’s easy to encounter a lot of stressful situations on a daily basis. It’s not just you who gets to experience these; they can and do happen to anyone. As nice as it would be, you can’t always expect everyone to be nice and accommodating toward you; because if you did, you would be bitterly disappointed. You can’t always control how people act around or toward you, but you can certainly control how you deal with it. Here are five things that you can do when someone does not treat you right.

1. Take Action When You’re Mistreated

No one has the right to cause you harm or inflict pain. If someone decides to mistreat you, you must take action. Your fight or flight response may kick in naturally. You need to make a decision and take action once you’ve decided what to do. You can either confront that person about their behaviour in an attempt to make it stop, or if you believe they’re ‘unredeemable’ then you may choose to no longer associate with them. Don’t sit on the fence and do nothing, as the behaviour will only continue by failing to take any action at all. 

2. Think About Possible Triggers for the Mistreatment

If a person acts improperly towards you, just know that it often has a lot to do with experiences they’ve been through – or are going through. These can trigger their poor behaviour. I’m telling you this to help you better cope with the hurt that comes with this mistreatment; not as a means to justify their behaviour or make it acceptable. By thinking objectively and recognising that the person might have personal issues and problems that cause them to behave in such a nasty or negative way, helps you take it less personally; and think more objectively in trying to improve the situation for yourself. 

It’s a good idea that you get some clarity about the issue. Understand that it might be a challenge to immediately deal with the matter at hand. But if you find the right time to talk about it, it will help you both by being each other’s soundboard. The important thing is to be the mature-minded one of the two, and be open-minded in navigating around the problem, rather than aggravating it and making it worse for yourself.

3. Think Positive Thoughts

There’s always a silver lining in every grey cloud. It might come as a challenge to see the positives in the situation when someone’s mistreating you, but you can take this on as a challenge. If someone decides to put you down and make you feel bad about something, fight this negativity by thinking about the good things that you have in your life. By seeing the positive things in your life, you will not be easily fazed by any harsh words or actions. Think about the good life you have; the people who love and respect you and all the blessings that you receive day by day. Not all people are blessed with kindness, understanding and love the way other people are. By showing yourself how strong you can be against hurtful words or actions, you get a boost in confidence and it makes you the bigger person. Thinking positive thoughts really does make you a stronger person.

4. Show an Act of Kindness

Quoting the late Princess Diana, “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” Kindness is free and it brings great feelings and good karma to the person who performs it without expecting anything in return. Kindness is something innate to us all. Every single one of us is born into this world with love and kindness in their hearts. Life may be cruel and change you as you grow older but with a random act of goodwill – whether that be by you or someone else – you can be reminded of how good humankind can still be and it sparks warmth in your heart.

If you experience harsh treatment from other people, throw back some kindness their way. This may seem absurd, but hate doesn’t conquer hate. Only love can do that. And if they don’t accept the love and kindness you have to offer, then you simply must let life take its course and make time for those who appreciate the good qualities you have to offer. At least you know that you have done all you can to repel and conquer the hate and mistreatment.

5. Forgive

Forgiveness is the best form of love and the attribute of the strong. Not everyone can be strong enough to forgive people who have hurt them and for someone who has been mistreated, it can be a challenge to do so. By learning to let go of what has happened in the past, you get to achieve inner peace and move on. Bearing a grudge against another person will only eat you up inside. More than just letting go of your pain and anger, it is also a way of giving yourself some love and relieving yourself of the worries brought about by anger and pain.

Always remember that how someone treats you is a reflection of their character. It has nothing to do with you. There will always be people who will cause you grief and pain, but it is up to you to find a way to not carry the burden of other people’s issues. Everyone deserves to live a life filled with love, free from anger and surrounded by positivity. Always remember that you are great and you owe it to yourself to make a great life.

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© 2022 Alana Huxtable.